Monday, May 07, 2007

It's Been A Very Long Time

The last post was in December 2006. WOW! I could use the excuse of school again, and it wouldn't be soooo far off. This semester was tough, but it had nothing to do with the classes. It had to do with a recent diagnosis. Well, not actually the diagnosis, rather the illness itself. You see, I've been diagnosed as having dysthymia, or long-term depression, and anxiety. Another great big WOW! Of course, it explains a lot--especially the absence from here--and many other places, believe me.

Thankfully, the anxiety is either the general type or possibly, post traumatic stress disorder. No, I'm not a vet, well maybe I am, a veteran of domestic violence, some twenty years past now. But apparently, PTSD can occur whenever. Isn't that wonderful? Not only was my abuser a detriment to me, and my children, when we were together, he may still have control of my life. I prefer to accept the general anxiety, however I must still acknowledge where it may have stemmed from.

Regardless, I've so isolated myself as to put the roof over my head in jeopardy, as well as my GPA and all personal projects planned. Slowly but surely, I am coming around, evidenced by this very post. And the situation has compelled me to finally write the story. As my final project for the Professional Writing Seminar, I have compiled a book proposal, that will be mailed this month, after comments from the professor.

So, maybe the recognition of the mental illness is a good thing, besides the obvious of getting treatment. It may be the catalyst to actually getting the things done, especially, telling this long needed story. Domestic violence is a relevant and timely subject, still, and hopefully this may help others.

The Chicago Foundation for Women has a year long initiative in 2007 called What Will It Take?, and I believe this is what it will take, veterans of abuse standing up, speaking out and being a part of the solution by remembering, and voicing those memories, loudly.

I'm taking my step, and this post, and the many more to come, is part of the healing.

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