Waiting On The Dogwood

Waiting on the Dogwoods

It’s been almost a month to the day that I’ve raved about something. It’s been even longer that I’ve truly written. Writing continue to evade me but the urges, the twinges, the inspirations are getting stronger and coming more often. I was all set up and kind of eager to get started on the front porch when I was interrupted for an hour or so chat with a neighbor. All the more reason to get deeper into the wilderness.

All in all, today was a scrumptious day.

 

Two weeks ago, Mello dog jumped and landed the wrong way, breaking a tiny bone in his leg. He was sedated and put in a splint. Last week, he was sedated again and the splint changed because he chewed the bottom. Last night, he removed the splint completely. Vet said he’s healing well and didn’t need to be re-splinted and off we went. Both happy as larks.

Spring garden fever has sprung. I’ve controlled myself and not put anything in the ground, but I couldn’t resist filling my pots. A cheery Bleeding Heart in one pot, and two Peonies, one red, one white, both with buds ready to burst. The ants are ravenous around both Peony pots. The daffodils continue to spread warmth and brightness every day, while the gladioli bloomed and died.

I’m still however, waiting on the Dogwood. Once those white and pink buds pop though, my yard will be bursting with color, above and below. Who could not be inspired with that? We’ll see. 

Confidential Interview

Eight months ago—on the road with the wind in my hair, seeing new places, meeting new people, making new memories, building a new life—everything fell perfectly into place. The first few months were exciting with possibilities and plans. Imagine my dismay when in the fourth month, I found Donna lurking about, waiting patiently in the shadows. In my mountain retirement where I was to finish that novel and finally compile that poetry manuscript, there she was, distracting as ever, eating brownies and watching westerns.

There were reasons, she said. The less expensive location proved expensive to establish. The serene mountain was in the middle of the North Georgia ‘hood’, which shouldn’t be a problem for a metro Chicago girl, however mountain hoods are quite a different scene, as my dear Donna was quick to point out. The mountain wilderness has its own set of rules.

The like-minded and supportive people I’d originally met were 15-20 miles away, and those close whom I chose to trust were untrustworthy. Winters' early gray months saw panic attacks, and doubts. As usually happens, time moves along and with that passage the realization that things are never, ever the way they seem. Those who betrayed have severe issues of their own. The ‘hood,’ as is often the case, is home to some good people. As the dreariness lifted, daylight lengthened, and the Donnas have conspired again to live the dream.

 

I’ve made bagels, gorgeous, dense loaves of white bread, a delicious loaf of herbed artisan bread, and just yesterday, two golden loaves of honey oat bread. Three quarts of applesauce, and three pints of apple jelly from the peelings and cores. 


Since I made the decision to stay at this location for a year to get all finances balanced, I began to dig the herb garden, and ordered seed catalogs. The daylilies and tulips are popping, and my Mello dog takes me on exhilarating daily mountain walks where we’ve met even more good people in the hood.  

And, I write!

Confidential Interview

Almost an illusion,

those tiny blue flutters

         in the brown grass.

After the lift of morning fog

           amber criss-crosses the earth

to dry the nights weeping.

Cats crouch and shimmy behind the window,

yet visions of the glorious hunt 

soon blur,

ransacked by the reality 

of domestication.

So begins the day’s confidential interview with its customers.

Will you trade, sell, discard these copious charms for empty promises?

Daily Meditations - January 24, 2012

Great Early Morning Smoke of my Backyard!

Great Smoking Mirror - Reflections

Through the smoke
  I see looking back
    Another reflection of me.
Mirror of my inner-self
  Who are you
    If I am me?
Mirror of my outer-self
  What do others see?
Is it the truth in my heart
  Or human vanity? 
          *Sacred Path Cards
          **What needs to be done




Moose - Self-Esteem
Moose...   Help me to honor the gifts I can give,
    And recognize my worthiness long as I live.
          *Medicine Cards           
          **How to do it

Meditation Points - January 22, 2012

Storyteller - Expansion: 
Sing to me, oh Ancient Ones,
  Of the history of our race.
That I may see in my mind,
  The love in every face.
And every spirit that came before,
  The Medicine that they made,
The Sacred Tradition they passed to me
  So the memory will not fade.
Oh, Storyteller, be my bridge
  To those other times.
So I may walk in Beauty with
  The ancient rhythm and rhyme. 
                   *Sacred Path Cards
                   *This is what needs to be done.
To feed my personal Fire of Creation. To remember my personal Medicine and how to BE my potential.


Bear - Introspection:
Bear...
  Invite me
    Into the cave
      Where silence surrounds
The answers you gave.
                   *Medicine Cards
                   *This is how to do what must be done.
Enter the silence and become acquainted with the Dream Lodge, so that my goals may become concrete realities. 


**Medicine and Sacred Path Tarot Readings available. Email.

2011

What would I have done differently? This is a question that’s plagued me for years, and that is exactly why it’s so difficult to answer. I should have done numerous things differently throughout my fifty-five years on this planet. Very few, however, would I actually choose to do differently, because then I would be another Donna Kiser than I am today.

Considering only the past twelve months though is not only easier, but also necessary in measuring goal-setting outcomes to adjust going forward. So here goes:

1. More research on teaching overseas before spending $1200 on certification
2. Curb the acting-on-emotion, but don’t lose spontaneity
1. Leaving Wisconsin before summer housing was confirmed
2. Falling in love with a location because of scenery, and moving w/o research
3. Trusting too quickly (this is an ongoing, perpetual issue for me)
3. More activity, less sitting
4. More writing, less work
5. Promote self more (another biggie for me)
6. Worrying about what others think

I think that’s plenty for the page, there’s tons more running circles in my head. At least I’ve have the groundwork for 2012's action plan, except for #1. Not much I can do now about #1 but I can remind myself to research a LOT before making decisions—kinda goes with #2. 

The Barter System Today

Bartering is an exchange of goods or services without a monetary exchange, and has been around for centuries.  Although it went out of fashion for a time with the rise of capitalism, it has always been around among folks who understand the value of each other’s talents. While bartering has made a substantial comeback in these trying economic times, some don’t understand the concept, and literally abuse it.

I recently acquired a puppy from a local dog boarding and training facility. His shots were included in the acquisition, so I went back frequently.

Mello (my dog) and I came along nicely with training but I thought professional training would make us both better. I noticed the severely disjointed website of the boarder’s. I offered a complete re-design in exchange for the $1200 training package. There wasn’t much of a response and even when asked if he thought it wasn’t an equitable trade, he said he was just busy.

Well, as the months went on, along with the acquisition of Mello was a flea infestation. Off we go to the boarder who does a couple flea treatments on Mello and both cats accompanied by flea, heart, and worm pills. Additionally, Mello needed another worm treatment. Again, I asked about the exchange. For the $141.00 in checks, I would organize all photos on his server, which amounted to hundreds. I would verify they weren’t on the site and then organize them in an “old photo” file in any method he chose. No response.

Days later, I get a voice mail saying that he had some web work, to come by so we could talk and “bring the dog.” Turns out he just self-published a poetry book and wanted me to do promotions. Trying to nail him down on exactly where he wanted to start was difficult, but I managed a list of three items:

• Facebook account
• Author/book website
• Compile list of reviewers

He wanted to talk about training as exchange but I suggested the $141.00 in checks and he agreed. That was on December 12, 2011. I’ve still not received the domain name to start the site building. He obviously thought he could do it himself and his boarding site was down for a day. I’ve received no less than five emails and fifteen phone calls, even late night, rambling about this book and its promotion. Computer literacy is not at the top of his list and that’s ok, then let someone else do it and don’t confuse the situation.

What it boils down to is that he’s almost used the $141.00 in time without getting a tangible outcome. Facebook account, book reviews, sharing, posting and answering his incoherent phone calls. Absolutely no idea of the barter concept. We each do what we do in ‘equal’ amounts. Looks like I’m going to have to tell him that I’m not his personal marketing person and I’m definitely not on call. I don’t even want his dog training anymore. 

All Hail Poison

That is quite the title, isn't it? 


Two cats and dog resting peacefully. Traumatized and terrorized from scratching, biting, and tearing through the house trying desperately to get away from the maddening skin crawl, then spending  the night in a kennel, are now stretched across my legs, beneath my chair, and curled tightly under the comforter - NO scratching, NO biting, NO running wild. 


So yes, after 3 months of torture through all natural, unsuccessful alternatives, ALL HAIL POISON!
dk