Saturday, August 25, 2007

So, and so, and whatever

What's in a life? Moments on top of never ending moments filled with excruciating experience after glorious experience. You hurt, you cry, you marvel and wonder and jump for joy, and you hurt and cry. The electricity of a lovers lips, the totality of a baby's fingers wrapped 'round your own, the despair of failure, loneliness, the unbelievable shattering of anger, and the dream of a lovers electric lips.

There's a journey, footsteps and leaps, backward and forward and around unforeseen bends, twists and turns of illogic and plan. What is right and which is left? I am a matriarch who thirsts for solitude. I am a hermit plagued by tarantism until slaver dries in the corners of my awed mouth. I am woman, driven and crashed, crippled and propelled by thoughts, temptations, desires and society's suppose to's.

Tis no different, I believe, any where for women. Countries and men will war and kill and women will be. Cannot be just one woman in one place who travels this road to what is in a life. A life, a moment, years of just that and no less, no more, but whatever.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

new mac, safari and blogger

well, well, well. even the wonderful world of mac has issues. not exactly mac, i guess, but their browser, safari. the laptop is not even a week old and i needed to install firefox browser just to be able to access all the features here on blogger. but it wasn't only me, seems tons of people all of a sudden had problems accessing features here. even tho i posted a message asking specifically about safari, i didn't get a response, so i figured since it was isp and browser issues for most, i'd try firefox. and wa-la! posting again!!

not that i have any problem at all with firefox, it is a great product and i've used it for the past 3 years to get away for explorer's issues. but everyone told me how super duper all the mac products were, i was caught by surprise that i had to install "accessories" to work productively.

so far tho, i'm still a pig in shit here with my wireless freedom. i suppose i'll have to go ahead and buy an airport base so i can be wireless in the woods & on the beach. YEAH!!!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

the wonders of wireless

i have just, this sunday, entered the world of wireless. a big step but what is even bigger is that i have also entered the mac world. since my very first keystroke, i have been a pc girl, even dreamed of Bill Gates, but now, well, i guess he can call me a traitor. was just sooooo sick of all the viruses and checking for viruses and cleaning viruses, that i said, fuck it, i'm going mac. there's SOME operating differences that i'm adjusting to, but not a lot. the whole laptop thing though is what's really messing with me and delighting me at the same time. i miss the right click button on the mouse, but i suppose as i learn the keyboard shortcuts on the mac, it'll be ok.

the whole thing is that now, right this very minute? i'm sitting at the street side cafe tying this. that is the most coolest thing ever. getting ready to continue editing my poetry manuscript that i will send to the Poetry Foundation for their Emily Dickinson manuscript contest by june 15th. no longer "wired" to my desk on weatherly perfect days--we don't get a whole of them in Chicago. i have stepped into the 21st century, altho i still refuse to get a cell phone. email me & i will respond almost immediately, call and if there's no answer, leave a message, MAYBE i'll call you back. but if you have email, chances are i won't.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Chicago Jumping May 11th

Besides being confident that Chicago will host the 2016 Olympics, there's just so much more to the Windy City that sets it apart from all others--and yes, even the Big Apple.

This Friday, May 11th will be jumping in our downtown--the historic LOOP. And I get to be a working part of it.

LOOPTOPIA, 5pm-6am, will be America’s first dusk-to-dawn cultural and artistic spectacle showcasing the vibrancy and excitement of Chicago’s historic Loop neighborhood through musical and theatrical performances, unique shopping and dining opportunities, indoor programs, outdoor exhibitions, architectural tours, artistic installations and mesmerizing light displays.

LOOPTOPIA will literally transform the entire Loop into a sensory playground with cutting edge lighting and design elements that will immerse the Looptopia visitor in amazing sights and sounds.

As part of this amazing event, I, Donna Kiser, and others writers from the Neighborhood Writing Alliance, publishers of the Journal of Ordinary Thought will perform through poetry "Chicago Through Words and Music," with accompaniment by the jazz and world music of the Ways and Means Trio. Performance at the Chicago Temple, 77 W. Washington, 7-7:45pm. Come out to hear real life stories about Chicago, and to celebrate the vibrancy and excitement of this GREAT city and its extraordinary writers.

Columbia College Chicago's Urban Arts Festival: MANIFEST. May 11, 9am-9pm, 30,000 people. 75 showcases. 10 galleries. 4 stages. 1 parade. 24 hours. Dance it. Draw it. Sing it. Paint it. Photograph it. Play it. Record it. Show it. See it! Edible books, Jon Langford, Spectacle parade, and yours truly again, Donna Kiser, as vp of student org. Poetry in the Round, will host, with her pres, Donna Pecore, a poetry open mic right in the street. From 11am-4pm at the corner of State and Harrison.

Chicago--definitely, MY KIND OF TOWN!!

Monday, May 07, 2007

It's Been A Very Long Time

The last post was in December 2006. WOW! I could use the excuse of school again, and it wouldn't be soooo far off. This semester was tough, but it had nothing to do with the classes. It had to do with a recent diagnosis. Well, not actually the diagnosis, rather the illness itself. You see, I've been diagnosed as having dysthymia, or long-term depression, and anxiety. Another great big WOW! Of course, it explains a lot--especially the absence from here--and many other places, believe me.

Thankfully, the anxiety is either the general type or possibly, post traumatic stress disorder. No, I'm not a vet, well maybe I am, a veteran of domestic violence, some twenty years past now. But apparently, PTSD can occur whenever. Isn't that wonderful? Not only was my abuser a detriment to me, and my children, when we were together, he may still have control of my life. I prefer to accept the general anxiety, however I must still acknowledge where it may have stemmed from.

Regardless, I've so isolated myself as to put the roof over my head in jeopardy, as well as my GPA and all personal projects planned. Slowly but surely, I am coming around, evidenced by this very post. And the situation has compelled me to finally write the story. As my final project for the Professional Writing Seminar, I have compiled a book proposal, that will be mailed this month, after comments from the professor.

So, maybe the recognition of the mental illness is a good thing, besides the obvious of getting treatment. It may be the catalyst to actually getting the things done, especially, telling this long needed story. Domestic violence is a relevant and timely subject, still, and hopefully this may help others.

The Chicago Foundation for Women has a year long initiative in 2007 called What Will It Take?, and I believe this is what it will take, veterans of abuse standing up, speaking out and being a part of the solution by remembering, and voicing those memories, loudly.

I'm taking my step, and this post, and the many more to come, is part of the healing.