Old Age or Contentment

If there was a Facebook and blogging twenty years ago, all of my posts would’ve been about my children. I’m sure you know people like that. My kid did this, my kid did that, my kid won this or that. That’s parents, and that’s how it should be, IMHO (an acronym that was in the Kids Beat the Parents game played New Year’s Day that only I knew, and obviously still use). From the kids, it goes to the grandkids, and I’ve done my fair share of picture and video posting of everything from camping with the grandkids to their football games and wrestling tournaments. Perfect strangers around the globe know my grandchildren.

However, what is it when the majority of updates, posts, and conversations are about the dog or cat? Is it old age? Is it lack of life? Or is it relaxed contentment with the kids’ replacement? Hm. Well, I can actually relate to all three of these scenarios, fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your viewpoint.

Anyway, the plan for today was to do my blog post from the middle of bed as usual, create that “idea box,” do some cleaning, and work some more in the basement. That has all been tossed to the wind with a sleepless night. Not only a sleepless night but one with far too many moments standing beneath the stars in freezing temps, repeatedly, in and out, up and down and in and out again.

See, Mello, my dog, the kid replacement, obviously was under emotional duress when I was in Waunakee, WI watching wrestling for 14.5 hours. Such duress, that he had diarrhea for a little over 24 hours. Sorry if you thought this post was going to be about old age and contentment. You’re stuck with the squirts instead.

It started 10pm on Sunday, the day of my infraction against his senses. Monday morning I made rice with chicken broth thinking I’d caught it and all would be well. Sunday night of getting up 3-4 times was a cake-walk to Monday night when it was every hour on the hour. Thankfully, I have the fenced yard that I can just let him out the door, but this time, each and every time, required me to go out and coax him back inside. At one point, he just dropped on the frozen snow and refused to move until I took him by the collar – in my housedress and slippers. Lovely moonlight image.

I thought of just leaving him for the night, after all, he is part Husky and actually loves the cold. Then, as most worried parents do, I thought of all the terribly things that could possibly happen, namely that he’d eventually want to come in, start barking and wake up my daughter. Oh, the horror, believe me!! So, we continued our dribble dance because really, after a while, there just isn’t anything left in there to come out. He was just making the motions.

Finally, 6:36am was his last urgent trip. We slept on until 9:30 and I’ve emerged into the sunlight with a barely functioning brain. I doubt that there will be any business calls, idea box, cleaning, or anything else today. I may just sit and write. This brings me right back around to saying I think this proves the whole talking about the cats and dogs all the time is just pure relaxed contentment with the kids’ replacements. After all, writing is the goal. 

A New Adventure

A New Adventure – Not Failure

Turning the page and riding off to regroup for the next great Kiser adventure.

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
Theodore Roosevelt

And I did win some glorious personal triumphs in the last year as well as learning new things about myself. I traversed unknown highways alone, stayed with strangers, and met wonderful people. I relocated my entire life’s belongings across mountainous roads in the dead of night. I built a chicken coop and raised baby chicks to lay delicious eggs. Tilled and toiled and became physically strong again. And, I found that this particular mountain is not for me. I learned that I can accept that and move on without distress.

I realized that my grandchildren are an immense part of my life and without them there is a large hole in my heart. It may have been different if I’d lived a distance away all along, but having been involved in their lives from the beginning, I sorely miss the football games and the school programs and exposing them to cultural activities. I still want to show them a simpler, more sustainable way of living, and I will somewhere in the future. I’ve a lot of years left.

I’ve learned to research better a living location, that the age of an area population matters, that a high dropout and pregnancy rate happens for a reason, and that reason cannot necessarily be excised by one person. That is probably my biggest lesson, that while one person can make a difference, that one person cannot change the world alone. It’s a long battle and one must choose their battles wisely.

So, time to regroup. Headed back to Kenosha, WI but not backward. Regain some finances and rethink the next move. Thankfully, I have that capability. Possibly, substitute teach in Kenosha or drive a school bus, possibly obtain a CDL and travel the country, returning to see the grandkids every few weeks. Save those finances to settle closer because I need them, and needing people is not necessarily a bad thing. While I love solitary living, I’ve learned it doesn’t require ripping out my heart.

Mistakes are lessons if we learn from them, and I’ve learned a lot. I will miss the beauty of Appalachia but not near as much as I miss the beauty of my grandsons. Choose those battles and relish in both victory and defeat, for then we are never truly defeated.