Love More, Fear Less

At the Spirit of the Earth Church’s Samhain Festival on October 22, 2011, I walked the labyrinth after first searching my heart and soul about what I needed desperately to release for 2012; searching for the one thing that was holding me back from realizing my dreams. The list rolled in my head: overeating, being lazy, worry, money, etc. Only one word kept blasting me over and over. Every time I meditated on a word that came up, this one word blew it apart and stood prominent before my eyes, whether my eyes were closed or staring at the fire, or looking at another person who was trying to make the same decision.

This ritual of searching and releasing was a solitary ritual in unity. It was a word or act that we were to keep to ourselves and release it in the labyrinth fires. I did that, until today. Today, I must share because the universe has come together yet again to support me. The word, the act that I released; the word and the act that has held me back from everything, is FEAR.

What I realized today is that just releasing your issue once is not enough. It must be released every moment of every day. It must be acknowledged and put aside again and again, otherwise it slowly and surely creeps back in until it once again overwhelms you.

For days, possibly weeks if I’m to be honest, fear has strangled me until in the past few days, I barely moved through the house. I went from bed, to dining room table to armchair, and not much more. Fear is paralyzing. Fear of having made the wrong decision to move away from my support group, having made the wrong decision on the location to settle, fear of having trusted the wrong people, fear of what people think of me, fear of what will become of me in the future. Fear, Fear, FEAR!

Thanks to the energy of good and positive that I’ve learned, even sub-consciously to look for, I’ve been able to acknowledge, name and release my issue—yet again.

• The first was the reading of Tao te Ching this morning: “When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” I even posted this on Facebook disputing the ending.
• The second was being too lazy and involved in my delicious breakfast to get up and turn the knob when the Chattanooga Public Radio Classical 90.5 I listen to went into a religious broadcast. Amidst the bites, chews, and swallows, Pastor Jerry Arnold of the Collegedale Seventh-Day Adventist Church told a story of Navy Seals Training. He told of how instructors talked for hours about how terrible the next step would be and all they had to do was ring the bell and be saved from the torture. How several men rang the bell and left the training, not because of what they were going through but out of fear of what was to come.
• The third came on top of the second. While Pastor Jerry Arnold was talking about being present in the moment and being thankful for what we have, I read an article “Love More,Fear Less: A Mantra for the Holidays” by MeiMei Fox on Huffington Post: “By giving to others, we heal our own wounds. We become happier, more fulfilled, and even live longer. So yes, fear less: take on your demons, push yourself past your limits, be brave and bold. But also, love more, starting with yourself.” 

So, I remove the dispute that “everybody will respect you,” because it was fear that people didn’t respect me that made that dispute. I will not stop giving, helping, and most importantly, trusting because of what someone else may think, and if someone doesn’t like me or doesn’t respect me and my decisions, that is their problem, not mine.

Now, out to help with Feed Fannin at Light Up Blue Ridge.

Peace and love

dk

Tourist Towns

So yesterday, I headed north to McCaysville, Ga. to stop at two places about advertising in their local newspaper. The one, IGA, is a grocery store, and you'd think they'd want to advertise in their local paper, so that the local residents would know their sales. I talked to the owner once and have yet to get her live, no matter how many times I drive the 15 miles to McCaysville.

Just like Blue Ridge, McCaysville is in Fannin County and also on the Toccoa River (which is also the Ocoee River around the corner) where lots of white water rafting takes place. Lots of white water rafting companies up and down the highway. McCaysville's "main street" is full of cute little boutiques, BBQ joints, and souvenir shops. Alas, none of which is for the locals.

I started out yesterday early because I wanted to make the trip north then come back and hit some stores in Blue Ridge. 8:30am I pulled out of the 90 degree driveway onto Highway 5--which was totally empty--at 8:30am. This is nice coming from Chicago where traffic is bumper to bumper at that time, and crowds of people huddle at corner bus stops and on train platforms. Yes, it is nice and yes, it's what I was looking for coming south, but really, it is quite disconcerting. Especially, if you're attempting to do business--or eat breakfast.

Breakfast was my plan because I knew I was in a slow-start area. What the tourist towns fail to realize is that there are people who live in these areas, people who require services just as the tourists, and it would be nice if we (the locals, of whom I am now one) could get some service before 11 or 12 when the tourists roll out of their mountain cabin rentals. I stopped to ask the souvenir guy and he rattled off a couple names, and then quickly corrected himself that they were closed.

"There's the American Diner down the road, but you want a sit down?"

Well, yeah that's what I had in mind. Fifteen minutes and 20 miles later, I got to sit down at Hardees in Ducktown, Tn. By the time I’d eaten, drove back to stop at those places, talk to folks who aren’t the least bit interested in advertising for the locals, I got back to Blue Ridge just in time for lunch—so of course no one wanted to talk business. I don’t know if I’m still internally on Chicago time or if the days here are just shorter. The work days!

Today, I chose to walk around downtown Blue Ridge (90+ degrees with 90+ humidity percentage and no breeze) to stop in at all their cute little boutiques for the tourists. They also were not the least bit interested in advertising for the locals. Do the locals not want to know what your lunch and dinner specials are? Do they not want to know the hours of the used book store, or the music store? Here’s one I don’t understand at all: the feed store, certainly the locals want to know all about this store. Maybe they do, but no one has told the owners yet that it would be beneficial to advertise in the local newspaper.

In the city, not doing print advertising is understandable—everyone uses the internet. This just isn’t so in this small town of 1200 people. Very few have computers let alone internet, and everyone loves their newspaper. How to convince the store owners? They’re locals. Tomorrow I will make follow up calls—a few. Afterward, we’re doing exciting stuff, meeting with old timers to get their stories and some recipes. Recipes are my idea. They will go together nicely with the garden poetry I hope to get from the elementary students at their community garden project. Put it all together in a homey cookbook that can be sold at the farmers market to benefit Feed Fannin. My idea. Pretty good, huh?

Tonight, the temps have dropped, the wind is rustling the leaves, and I’m blogging to document my journey so that I can compile all with some kitschy pictures in a personal essay anthology. Yay me! I'm also hoping I can keep the bedroom windows open without a bunch of little creepy, crawling and flying little critters making their way through the screens. I already hear them tap, tap, tapping.

Blue Ridge Outsider

I’d planned to write this piece about Blues in Blue Ridge at Blue Orleans Bistro in downtown Blue Ridge, GA (boy, that’s a lot of blue) from an outsider’s perspective, but I’ve come to realize, there are no outsiders in Blue Ridge. Coming from Chicago where you can stand in the corner of a function or benefit for hours without anyone even acknowledging your presence, the warm and welcoming reception I received at the fundraiser for Snack in a Backpack last night was refreshing and exciting. 

I was passing through Blue Ridge on my way to find an off-the-grid mountain home and had the luck to land at the home of Lisa Gagnon of the Fannin Sentinel. Lisa has opened her home for “as long as you need it” and has been a wealth of information about everything. This ‘pass through’ is quickly becoming a ‘stay home’ place. It’s not a place you leave easily—nor should you.

I saw the signs for Blues in Blue Ridge but failed to notice that it was a reservation/donation event to benefit Snack in a Backpack. When Elaine, Lisa’s mother and owner of the Sentinel, decided to pass on her reservation because of a rigorous day of interviewing, Lisa included me. I went clothed in a “Fannin Sentinel Press” name tag and had more fun, felt more accepted, and smiled more than I have in many years—as an insider, because there are no outsiders in Blue Ridge.

The host location, Blue Orleans Bistro, is housed in a Louisiana plantation-style white-pillared Victorian with screened porches, a separate dining room with southern belle bonnets hanging from the fireplace, and delicious bayou food—the crawfish tails with Remoulade and Hoisin sauce are to die for. And the owner, Tim Huffstetler, belts out a mean “Polk Salad Annie.” 

The real entertainment, The Buckeye Band, was electrifying. Feet were tapping, hands clapping, and by the end, tables were moved to allow for the hips swaying—and mine were included. It’s been years since I’ve danced, even if the music is jumping, but last night I was invited. People smiled, waved me up and actually danced with me, looked me in the eyes and smiled. I was an accepted and enjoyed part of the in-crowd.

Everyone who was anyone in Blue Ridge was there, and the MC for the night, Jack Morton of Wrapsody in Blue, was engaging as an MC as well as being both interesting and interested as a conversationalist. Even Gaye Whalton, who is the creator of Snack in a Backpack and coordinator of the extravaganza, took the time to inquire about me personally and welcome me heartily as a prospective new Blue Ridge resident.

Besides my own profound experience of warmth, the event itself was a booming success. Local businesses donated such auction items as diamond rings from The Diamond Center, a mountain cabin stay from BR Lodging Assoc., Atlanta Braves tickets, and the phenomenal Blue Orleans Bistro chef for a private party, and much more. The Buckeye Band donated a Fender Stratocaster signed by a host of blues artists, which went for a whopping $800 for the Snack in a Backpack organization, who were the real winners of the night, and the reason for all these welcoming and generous people coming together. Kids will continue to receive their weekend backpacks full of food thanks to the concern, generosity, and warm kindness of folks in Blue Ridge, GA—where I am not an outsider.