i wonder if it's only me as a parent who is hushed, not informed and generally just dismissed?
hushed: no matter what i say on any topic, i am accused of fighting, arguing or just being mean. now, if i heard this from other people instead of JUST my adult children, i might look at some grain of truth and work towards rectifying it. however, it is ONLY the 'kids.' for example: my grandson graduated from 8th grade last week (can we hear a YAYYY!). unfortunately, he was suspended from the remainder of the school year two days before the end. he was allowed to attend the ceremony but it was stipulated that he be escorted by the parents. we arrived and off he went. when 3/4 of the kids had filed into the auditorium, i told my daughter she probably should have 'escorted' him to where he needed to be to make sure there were no problems. my other daughter exploded, saying she was not coming with us for the days celebration if we were going to fight. was that comment a fight? it was an opinion, a statement, which i feel, at my age, i am damn well entitled to speak.
uninformed: the graduates mother and me both live in illinois, he finished in kenosha because they'd lived there. being the green urbanite that i am, i don't drive, which is no problem, the metra goes to kenosha. but, my wonderful daughter says her girlfriend is going so she will drive. great. they pick me up at 8:30 am in a vehicle that legally holds five but currently has six, with me seven. was i told this? no! was i given the 'choice' to go this route? no! was it too late to make other arrangements? YES! i was hence kidnapped and as the day went on, held hostage.
uninformed #2: for WEEKS i'd been asking what the celebration plans were, all to no avail. no one knew anything. the night before i said to go to foodlife at water tower for lunch and then take the kids to sears tower. my other daughter who lives in kenosha was 'supposed' to be driving back because her son was going to stay with me for the week. i said i would foot the bill for sears tower and pay for the graduates lunch. the graduate was excited. did anyone say no, we aren't going to do that? NO! did anyone give any other suggestions? NO! i get to kenosha in my kidnapped capacity to find that my other daughter is NOT driving back (which meant i had to come back in the overfull kidnap vehicle), and that we were going to lunch at golden corral. did anyone tell me this? yes, the friend who drove, she knew all along. so you see, not only kidnapped, but held hostage. i obviously don't have the capacity to make my own choices.
dismissed: "we're going to golden corral and then if you want the kids for the weekend you can take them." go or come or stand in the middle of hickville usa dressed for downtown chicago. did i have a choice? NO! the next train didn't leave for 2 1/2 hours. kidnapped! hostage!
hushed, uninformed and dismissed!!!
now, we ARE fighting!