i found a new site and blog. "When Parents Hurt" is also a book. I was too self-conscious to add to the blog, yet i'll write it here, hmm. i did order the book though. maybe there'll be some insight and how to make the pain stop; how to make the flight feeling to go away; how to finally have a life of my own outside of my adult children and grandchildren.
i do what i have always done, retreat and write. with the invention of blogging however, maybe there are others out there who will read and support. hopefully not condemn--i do quite a sufficient job of that myself.
i know this is all vague but i suppose that's best for me. lately, i've learned to follow my gut instinct to not do or go when i just don't feel it's a good idea. i wish i would've followed that instinct today.
being an estranged parent and going directly into the lion's den is like an addict visiting a crack house or an alcoholic spending an afternoon in a bar. what was i thinking? obviously not. so several hours later i'm in my nightgown while the sun shines, and trying to restrain the tears even though there's no one to see. maybe, off to poetry will help.