Back from the travels to central Wisconsin, back from the travels to the Boundary Waters of Minnesota, back from being a guest of wilderness to being a guest of my daughter in southeastern Wisconsin. Back to dreaming of traveling again--soon. Back to commutes into the big city Chicago and wondering why. I sit snuggled beneath my comforter, beneath school and work preparation activities, beneath with Lola and Rocky on either side. We enjoy the beneath. Later, I will sit beneath the rolling clouds and frisky breeze to waggle my fingertips and knead the inspiration more. Rocky and Lola will chase flies and chomp on luscious cattails.
The last steps have sounded overhead and the last door has slammed. Silence above beckons to us dwellers of the beneath, announcing that all is clear for emergence. Yet, none moves, only purrs and taps on the keyboard. All is well.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Day 49 - August 18, 2010 - Bear Island Lake
Today is Wednesday, on Monday I had "The One That Got Away" in wind gusts of 25 mph in a small 16 footer. Well, it's the same 16 footer on the same Bear Island Lake with the same driver--my friends mostly silent but occasionally dryly humorous husband. The sun was shining as we trolled back and forth and back and forth. At least the wind wasn't blowing my line under the boat, into the motor and onto his back--sufficiently hooking my first catch of the season.
I caught a few more of those 'average' fellows that I spared from the hot skillet. And then, this one came along:
A small, 1 1/4 pound, large-mouth bass. According to my expert guide, this WAS a keeper because it was the largest large-mouth he'd seen in Bear Island Lake. He caught plenty of small-mouth, a few walleye and a couple northern's, but I caught the large-mouth. Imagine THAT!! Has no correlation to my own big mouth AT ALL!!
The day was nice, but of course I'd forgotten the camera so can't show you (right now) a view of the north woods surrounding a rippling lake, but it is divine.
We'd been out some 3 hrs, went back for lunch and I managed to get in and out and back in the boat all under my own power, which is pretty good considering I'm not a petite woman (anymore). After another hour on the water, sitting on a pad on a wooden bench, my back was screaming at me through the nerves in my neck and head. My escort was considerate enough to take me back without complaint.
We arrived at the dock and he asked if I needed help to which I replied, "let's see." I proceeded to attempt one foot, then the other foot, then stood on the seat, pointed a foot (any foot) at the dock and fell face first. Without missing a beat or cracking a smile, he said," Circle one, yes or no. You're beginning to hurt my eyes."
I grabbed hold of the extended hand and CLIMBED onto the pier.
"I wanted to do it myself. I used to be able to," I said to his back as he threw "OK" over his shoulder and proceeded on. OK, as in, yeah sure.
I did used to, honest!
I caught a few more of those 'average' fellows that I spared from the hot skillet. And then, this one came along:
The day was nice, but of course I'd forgotten the camera so can't show you (right now) a view of the north woods surrounding a rippling lake, but it is divine.
We'd been out some 3 hrs, went back for lunch and I managed to get in and out and back in the boat all under my own power, which is pretty good considering I'm not a petite woman (anymore). After another hour on the water, sitting on a pad on a wooden bench, my back was screaming at me through the nerves in my neck and head. My escort was considerate enough to take me back without complaint.
We arrived at the dock and he asked if I needed help to which I replied, "let's see." I proceeded to attempt one foot, then the other foot, then stood on the seat, pointed a foot (any foot) at the dock and fell face first. Without missing a beat or cracking a smile, he said," Circle one, yes or no. You're beginning to hurt my eyes."
I grabbed hold of the extended hand and CLIMBED onto the pier.
"I wanted to do it myself. I used to be able to," I said to his back as he threw "OK" over his shoulder and proceeded on. OK, as in, yeah sure.
I did used to, honest!
Day 48 - August 17, 2010
Sitting in the middle of a blocked off street with tons of townfolk (wondering where all the young people are) watching and listening to The Boundary Water Boys playing on The Front Porch. We were singing "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" (by and by lord, by and by), testifying with raised, waving hands that were washed with Goat Milk Soap, sending scents of cedar and licorice wafting through the crowd.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Day 44
August 13, 2010, Day 44-Learned many things today, that Ho-Chunks have Mexican stand-offs over parking spaces—as does the rest of the United States. I’m German and I did. My friend is Swedish and she was there. Here we were, in the parking lot of what is called Wally World in Wisconsin Dells—Wal-Mart. The skies had opened and the gods were obviously draining their pool (or at least I hope it was a pool), and we had just spent a minute or two waiting for an elderly man to pull out of a space. He was parked in a space going the wrong way—a totally EASY spot to pull right into if you are going the other way in the other row—you’ve seen those spots. He pulls out, we pull in and we are ¾ of the way into the space and in turns a pickup. We both stopped and stared at each other through the sheet of water running down both windshields, and there we sat. No one rolled down the windows and yelled. No one performed vulgar sign language. We just looked at each other. Of course, I was saying to my friend to continue to pull into the space, which of course, she didn’t do. We just sat as others around us ran between the downpours, raced shopping carts and made happy dry purchases inside. Finally, he backed out and took another spot while we pulled in and waited for the clouds to part just a bit. He walked by, asked us if, “What the fuck, don’t you know how to drive?” and kept walking. We eventually made it to the interior of Wal-Mart where my friend said she saw him, where I said I was looking for him, and neither met ever again. Probably a good thing.
There are other things I learned today about preparation of dead bodies, but I think I’ll save that for a piece of writing. That definitely deserves its own spot.
Beginnings of nomad existence
Beginnings of nomad existence
On July 29, 2010, I made a move for the rest of my life. For the first time in 40 years I am without a home of my own. I have become a nomad to save money to follow my dream. In September I will begin TEFL certification and in January 2011, at 54 years of age, I will leave the United States of America for the first time. I plan to begin in Eastern Europe with a 6-month contract, and then see where it leads. So far it has been an interesting, exciting and challenging experience with cheers and support from great friends and family. While I go forward, I had hoped to keep a daily update here, to find the time and space to write, but I’ve been so caught up in the actually living that I’ve been lax in my writing duties. So I’ll begin at the beginning and hopefully I’ll get you to where I am today, sitting on a screened deck amidst the tops of tall pines and birch listening only to the rustle.
June 29, 2010-a momentous day for a sternly independent woman who has been self-sufficient since the age of 14. She steps into the abyss with faith and belief that she will be supported and sustained as she has supported and sustained others. Not taken care of but cared ‘for’ by her chosen circle, by new acquaintances, by a nurturing universe and most importantly, for the first time, by herself.
August 4, 2010, Day 35 – 7:30am
The rains thundered a rushing river upon my miniature polka dot umbrella
The winds roared and thrashed the sopping sundress around my jittery ankles
Small lakes overflowed at curbs and doorsteps in torrential laughter at my $100 bleeding sandals.
My voluptuous girth extended beyond the colorful polka dots creating a rain barrel derriere, pink underlings peeking through saturated white.
Continued Day 35 - 8am of my personally created nomad/homeless existence that has shown me the unexpected, unanticipated kindness, support and generosity of friends, old and new. The journey has become a worthwhile adventure with directions and destinations aplenty. I can do this or I can do that; I can go here or I can go there. So the rain or snow or tropical heat wave that blankets my parade slows it not. Excitement for life and future bubbles at my lips, twitching and tweaking into happy smiles; taps into my happy feet going forward for no one but me, extending my hand along the way and being welcomed by other extended hands.
August 6, 2010, Day 37 – The morning Metra from Kenosha to Chicago is full of adventure seekers from an uncomplicated small town rural setting to the proverbial big city lights. Children flush with questions of expectation and wonder, parents eagerly creating memories; suits plugged in, tuned out to life; finger licking, tooth-sucking lunch of cold chicken for breakfast, all flying through the landscape, retracing, reinventing ancestral/historical/fantastical travels of the iron horse.
Without a bed or home of my own and the view through these middle-aged eyes is of the wonder of a missed and lost childhood, a second childhood, an innocence regained with knowledge that enhances the experience.
I asked for feedback to go forward, feedback to make me a better facilitator, teacher, person. I asked for feedback to carry me on to the mext pinnacle. I was given a treasure chest with a feather lock.
There is more to come to get us caught up to August 17th, Day 48. Stay tuned, I will get there.
On July 29, 2010, I made a move for the rest of my life. For the first time in 40 years I am without a home of my own. I have become a nomad to save money to follow my dream. In September I will begin TEFL certification and in January 2011, at 54 years of age, I will leave the United States of America for the first time. I plan to begin in Eastern Europe with a 6-month contract, and then see where it leads. So far it has been an interesting, exciting and challenging experience with cheers and support from great friends and family. While I go forward, I had hoped to keep a daily update here, to find the time and space to write, but I’ve been so caught up in the actually living that I’ve been lax in my writing duties. So I’ll begin at the beginning and hopefully I’ll get you to where I am today, sitting on a screened deck amidst the tops of tall pines and birch listening only to the rustle.
June 29, 2010-a momentous day for a sternly independent woman who has been self-sufficient since the age of 14. She steps into the abyss with faith and belief that she will be supported and sustained as she has supported and sustained others. Not taken care of but cared ‘for’ by her chosen circle, by new acquaintances, by a nurturing universe and most importantly, for the first time, by herself.
August 4, 2010, Day 35 – 7:30am
The rains thundered a rushing river upon my miniature polka dot umbrella
The winds roared and thrashed the sopping sundress around my jittery ankles
Small lakes overflowed at curbs and doorsteps in torrential laughter at my $100 bleeding sandals.
My voluptuous girth extended beyond the colorful polka dots creating a rain barrel derriere, pink underlings peeking through saturated white.
Continued Day 35 - 8am of my personally created nomad/homeless existence that has shown me the unexpected, unanticipated kindness, support and generosity of friends, old and new. The journey has become a worthwhile adventure with directions and destinations aplenty. I can do this or I can do that; I can go here or I can go there. So the rain or snow or tropical heat wave that blankets my parade slows it not. Excitement for life and future bubbles at my lips, twitching and tweaking into happy smiles; taps into my happy feet going forward for no one but me, extending my hand along the way and being welcomed by other extended hands.
August 6, 2010, Day 37 – The morning Metra from Kenosha to Chicago is full of adventure seekers from an uncomplicated small town rural setting to the proverbial big city lights. Children flush with questions of expectation and wonder, parents eagerly creating memories; suits plugged in, tuned out to life; finger licking, tooth-sucking lunch of cold chicken for breakfast, all flying through the landscape, retracing, reinventing ancestral/historical/fantastical travels of the iron horse.
Without a bed or home of my own and the view through these middle-aged eyes is of the wonder of a missed and lost childhood, a second childhood, an innocence regained with knowledge that enhances the experience.
I asked for feedback to go forward, feedback to make me a better facilitator, teacher, person. I asked for feedback to carry me on to the mext pinnacle. I was given a treasure chest with a feather lock.
There is more to come to get us caught up to August 17th, Day 48. Stay tuned, I will get there.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Stupid cost of health care
Everyone should quit smoking, right? Smoking is one of the leading causes for many illnesses, particularly lung cancer (the most frequent cause of cancer death), COPD, Atherosclerosis; and they have linked smoking to osteoporosis, thyroid diseases, peptic ulcers, and the list just goes on. Smoking contributes significantly to the high cost of medical care because, so the story goes, so many smokers are uninsured (the POOR with their bad lifestyle decisions that everyone else is paying for).
The cost to diagnosis and treat lung cancer is astronomical. Lung cancer is fatal in 88% of patients. Per the EPA:
Treatment Period Incremental Cancer Treatment Cost
Initial (3 months) $26,042
Maintenance (per year) $11,325
Terminal (6 months) $30,112
(Based on Baker et al., 1989, with comorbidity charges from Baker et al., 1991.)
1984 to 1996 is 2.14; Bureau of Labor Statistics.) Average Per Patient Costs for the Three Periods of Treatment for Lung Cancer in 1996 dollars. Costs adjusted for inflation using the Medical Care component of the Consumer Price Index (CPI-U) 1996:1984 = 2.14 (Bureau of Labor)
I'm getting to a point here, bear with me.
Since most lung cancer patients die within the first year, we'll use this total figure as one years cost--$67,479--give or take a few dollars depending upon where in the year they die.
OK, let's look at helping those poor sops make better lifestyle decisions. QUIT SMOKING! That's the ticket out of this medical and financial nightmare for both the individual and the government run insurance (Medicaid & Medicare). The government WILL incur the medical costs if the individual is uninsured. They WILL treat the individual and provide medical care. This is a good thing, for some it's a complaint.
Well, the cost to help them quit smoking, to purchase the prescription drug Chantix (which arguably has it's own issues, but has helped MANY quit--particularly this writer); a month's supply of Chantix is $184.00. Those poor sops can't afford $184 out of pocket. Now, you may ask how they can afford to buy the cigarettes and I contend (from experience) that the $5, $6, even $8 for a pack of cigarettes is MUCH easier to come by in any given moment than a lump sum of $184.00.
Here's the question: Why don't insurance companies pay for Chantix? Why would Medicare STOP paying for a patients prescription of Chantix? Is it too simple for all those educated heads to calculate that $67K is far MORE than $1100 (the cost for the maximum of 6 months use of Chantix)? Even if we, the poor sop here, break it down for them-compare apples to apples, 6 months to 6 months-I still think $34K is MORE than $1100, isn't it??? I know I'm not good with math, but I do have a calculator, and I know I'm not near as educated, but really, isn't $34K more than $1100???
Here's your tax dollars at work. Don't complain about the poor sop who is costing soooo much because of her bad lifestyle choices. Complain because the stupidity of Medicare, Medicaid AND insurance companies, would RATHER pay for the cancer than the cessation.
The cost to diagnosis and treat lung cancer is astronomical. Lung cancer is fatal in 88% of patients. Per the EPA:
Treatment Period Incremental Cancer Treatment Cost
Initial (3 months) $26,042
Maintenance (per year) $11,325
Terminal (6 months) $30,112
(Based on Baker et al., 1989, with comorbidity charges from Baker et al., 1991.)
1984 to 1996 is 2.14; Bureau of Labor Statistics.) Average Per Patient Costs for the Three Periods of Treatment for Lung Cancer in 1996 dollars. Costs adjusted for inflation using the Medical Care component of the Consumer Price Index (CPI-U) 1996:1984 = 2.14 (Bureau of Labor)
I'm getting to a point here, bear with me.
Since most lung cancer patients die within the first year, we'll use this total figure as one years cost--$67,479--give or take a few dollars depending upon where in the year they die.
OK, let's look at helping those poor sops make better lifestyle decisions. QUIT SMOKING! That's the ticket out of this medical and financial nightmare for both the individual and the government run insurance (Medicaid & Medicare). The government WILL incur the medical costs if the individual is uninsured. They WILL treat the individual and provide medical care. This is a good thing, for some it's a complaint.
Well, the cost to help them quit smoking, to purchase the prescription drug Chantix (which arguably has it's own issues, but has helped MANY quit--particularly this writer); a month's supply of Chantix is $184.00. Those poor sops can't afford $184 out of pocket. Now, you may ask how they can afford to buy the cigarettes and I contend (from experience) that the $5, $6, even $8 for a pack of cigarettes is MUCH easier to come by in any given moment than a lump sum of $184.00.
Here's the question: Why don't insurance companies pay for Chantix? Why would Medicare STOP paying for a patients prescription of Chantix? Is it too simple for all those educated heads to calculate that $67K is far MORE than $1100 (the cost for the maximum of 6 months use of Chantix)? Even if we, the poor sop here, break it down for them-compare apples to apples, 6 months to 6 months-I still think $34K is MORE than $1100, isn't it??? I know I'm not good with math, but I do have a calculator, and I know I'm not near as educated, but really, isn't $34K more than $1100???
Here's your tax dollars at work. Don't complain about the poor sop who is costing soooo much because of her bad lifestyle choices. Complain because the stupidity of Medicare, Medicaid AND insurance companies, would RATHER pay for the cancer than the cessation.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Illinois Considers Banning Blunts
this is the most outrageous use of time and money that i've seen in quite awhile. we're going to make these cigars drug paraphernalia as are "rolling papers and water bongs."
when was the last time you were unable to buy rolling papers? and for that matter, my corner store sells water bongs under the name of 'hookahs.'
the only thing this does is make more laws to have young poor people jailed under. what police officer is stopping a person walking down the street in Lake Forest and searching them for 'drug paraphernalia?' do we honestly believe they don't have it? smoking weed is the most widely performed illegal drug action by ALL regardless of socio-economic, religious, racial, gender, or any other classification named. why not realize this and stop wasting our tax dollars on more ridiculous legislation aimed only at a particular population?
so many issues of homelessness, hunger, domestic abuse and we waste energy on trivialities.
when was the last time you were unable to buy rolling papers? and for that matter, my corner store sells water bongs under the name of 'hookahs.'
the only thing this does is make more laws to have young poor people jailed under. what police officer is stopping a person walking down the street in Lake Forest and searching them for 'drug paraphernalia?' do we honestly believe they don't have it? smoking weed is the most widely performed illegal drug action by ALL regardless of socio-economic, religious, racial, gender, or any other classification named. why not realize this and stop wasting our tax dollars on more ridiculous legislation aimed only at a particular population?
so many issues of homelessness, hunger, domestic abuse and we waste energy on trivialities.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Ideas and Inspirations
Saturday, Aug. 22nd, I went to see 'Julie and Julia.' What a heartwarming and lighthearted story it was. It got me thinking about the cookbook I began last year for my daughters and daughter-in-law. As it turns out, the daughter-in-law would probably use it to pick up dog poop, but I know my daughters would love all their favorite dishes all together. I had included little anecdotes about the dish, how it became a family favorite and whatever little twists I incorporated into the recipes. It also included whimsical and mouth-watering pictures. I had decided to call it "Nana's Cucina." Not that I'm Italian, I'm German, with a rumor of Cherokee, but my first husband was Italian and the grandkids call me Nana, so it seemed right. And it also seems right to continue the cookbook, and maybe publish it as an ebook or maybe send it to a publisher for these hard economic times, since most of the recipes are good, old fashioned stock. Thanks to Julie and Julia. We never know where our inspiration comes from.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Obama and the Sears Tower Gift Shop
now i voted for him and i think he's doing the best he can with what he was left, but do we really need a lifesize cardboard stand-up of him? and for $30? where would you put this?
Monday, June 15, 2009
still ranting
i wonder if it's only me as a parent who is hushed, not informed and generally just dismissed?
hushed: no matter what i say on any topic, i am accused of fighting, arguing or just being mean. now, if i heard this from other people instead of JUST my adult children, i might look at some grain of truth and work towards rectifying it. however, it is ONLY the 'kids.' for example: my grandson graduated from 8th grade last week (can we hear a YAYYY!). unfortunately, he was suspended from the remainder of the school year two days before the end. he was allowed to attend the ceremony but it was stipulated that he be escorted by the parents. we arrived and off he went. when 3/4 of the kids had filed into the auditorium, i told my daughter she probably should have 'escorted' him to where he needed to be to make sure there were no problems. my other daughter exploded, saying she was not coming with us for the days celebration if we were going to fight. was that comment a fight? it was an opinion, a statement, which i feel, at my age, i am damn well entitled to speak.
uninformed: the graduates mother and me both live in illinois, he finished in kenosha because they'd lived there. being the green urbanite that i am, i don't drive, which is no problem, the metra goes to kenosha. but, my wonderful daughter says her girlfriend is going so she will drive. great. they pick me up at 8:30 am in a vehicle that legally holds five but currently has six, with me seven. was i told this? no! was i given the 'choice' to go this route? no! was it too late to make other arrangements? YES! i was hence kidnapped and as the day went on, held hostage.
uninformed #2: for WEEKS i'd been asking what the celebration plans were, all to no avail. no one knew anything. the night before i said to go to foodlife at water tower for lunch and then take the kids to sears tower. my other daughter who lives in kenosha was 'supposed' to be driving back because her son was going to stay with me for the week. i said i would foot the bill for sears tower and pay for the graduates lunch. the graduate was excited. did anyone say no, we aren't going to do that? NO! did anyone give any other suggestions? NO! i get to kenosha in my kidnapped capacity to find that my other daughter is NOT driving back (which meant i had to come back in the overfull kidnap vehicle), and that we were going to lunch at golden corral. did anyone tell me this? yes, the friend who drove, she knew all along. so you see, not only kidnapped, but held hostage. i obviously don't have the capacity to make my own choices.
dismissed: "we're going to golden corral and then if you want the kids for the weekend you can take them." go or come or stand in the middle of hickville usa dressed for downtown chicago. did i have a choice? NO! the next train didn't leave for 2 1/2 hours. kidnapped! hostage!
hushed, uninformed and dismissed!!!
now, we ARE fighting!
hushed: no matter what i say on any topic, i am accused of fighting, arguing or just being mean. now, if i heard this from other people instead of JUST my adult children, i might look at some grain of truth and work towards rectifying it. however, it is ONLY the 'kids.' for example: my grandson graduated from 8th grade last week (can we hear a YAYYY!). unfortunately, he was suspended from the remainder of the school year two days before the end. he was allowed to attend the ceremony but it was stipulated that he be escorted by the parents. we arrived and off he went. when 3/4 of the kids had filed into the auditorium, i told my daughter she probably should have 'escorted' him to where he needed to be to make sure there were no problems. my other daughter exploded, saying she was not coming with us for the days celebration if we were going to fight. was that comment a fight? it was an opinion, a statement, which i feel, at my age, i am damn well entitled to speak.
uninformed: the graduates mother and me both live in illinois, he finished in kenosha because they'd lived there. being the green urbanite that i am, i don't drive, which is no problem, the metra goes to kenosha. but, my wonderful daughter says her girlfriend is going so she will drive. great. they pick me up at 8:30 am in a vehicle that legally holds five but currently has six, with me seven. was i told this? no! was i given the 'choice' to go this route? no! was it too late to make other arrangements? YES! i was hence kidnapped and as the day went on, held hostage.
uninformed #2: for WEEKS i'd been asking what the celebration plans were, all to no avail. no one knew anything. the night before i said to go to foodlife at water tower for lunch and then take the kids to sears tower. my other daughter who lives in kenosha was 'supposed' to be driving back because her son was going to stay with me for the week. i said i would foot the bill for sears tower and pay for the graduates lunch. the graduate was excited. did anyone say no, we aren't going to do that? NO! did anyone give any other suggestions? NO! i get to kenosha in my kidnapped capacity to find that my other daughter is NOT driving back (which meant i had to come back in the overfull kidnap vehicle), and that we were going to lunch at golden corral. did anyone tell me this? yes, the friend who drove, she knew all along. so you see, not only kidnapped, but held hostage. i obviously don't have the capacity to make my own choices.
dismissed: "we're going to golden corral and then if you want the kids for the weekend you can take them." go or come or stand in the middle of hickville usa dressed for downtown chicago. did i have a choice? NO! the next train didn't leave for 2 1/2 hours. kidnapped! hostage!
hushed, uninformed and dismissed!!!
now, we ARE fighting!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Estranged Parents #2
well, now the son who hasn't talked to me for two months; who allowed the mother of his children (not even his wife) to talk to me as though i were some hood-rat on the street; who, at 33 years of age, has blamed me for the miserable life he has chosen for himself now wants to "follow me on twitter." i don't even have a cell phone. we were both in the same room just yesterday. he didn't seem to want to "follow" me then. no, i'll not open myself to more abuse. it is too painful.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Estranged Parents
i found a new site and blog. "When Parents Hurt" is also a book. I was too self-conscious to add to the blog, yet i'll write it here, hmm. i did order the book though. maybe there'll be some insight and how to make the pain stop; how to make the flight feeling to go away; how to finally have a life of my own outside of my adult children and grandchildren.
i do what i have always done, retreat and write. with the invention of blogging however, maybe there are others out there who will read and support. hopefully not condemn--i do quite a sufficient job of that myself.
i know this is all vague but i suppose that's best for me. lately, i've learned to follow my gut instinct to not do or go when i just don't feel it's a good idea. i wish i would've followed that instinct today.
being an estranged parent and going directly into the lion's den is like an addict visiting a crack house or an alcoholic spending an afternoon in a bar. what was i thinking? obviously not. so several hours later i'm in my nightgown while the sun shines, and trying to restrain the tears even though there's no one to see. maybe, off to poetry will help.
i do what i have always done, retreat and write. with the invention of blogging however, maybe there are others out there who will read and support. hopefully not condemn--i do quite a sufficient job of that myself.
i know this is all vague but i suppose that's best for me. lately, i've learned to follow my gut instinct to not do or go when i just don't feel it's a good idea. i wish i would've followed that instinct today.
being an estranged parent and going directly into the lion's den is like an addict visiting a crack house or an alcoholic spending an afternoon in a bar. what was i thinking? obviously not. so several hours later i'm in my nightgown while the sun shines, and trying to restrain the tears even though there's no one to see. maybe, off to poetry will help.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Football Grandma Jailed Now Sues
I'd read/heard about this story back in November 2008 when it happened. An 89 year old woman was arrested and charged with petty theft for not returning a kids football that landed in her yard. Apparently, footballs were always landing in her yard, so she held onto this one and someone's father figured he'd fix her and filed a complaint.
Today, the story rose again under the title: The First Stupid Lawsuit of '09! Supposedly, the grandma is sueing for emotional damages of the arrest and charges.
GOOD FOR HER!
Personally, I think the complaint (not to mention the complainant) was pretty stupid to begin with. There has always been crotchety old ladies (and men), but we (kids) were taught to respect them regardless, not to aggravate them. If that would've happened when I was a kid, I would've been told "Well, you shouldn't have let the ball go over there."
Yeah, accidents happen, and yeah, kids have the right to play, but little old ladies, old men, adults in general, have rights as well. Don't they? I remember quite a few folks on the block that you just knew were ornery and we stayed away. Why risk loosing a ball? Why not just go play and let them have the right to their property the way they choose?
I agree that lawsuits have gotten totally out of hand, but so have police calls. Shame on that father for not teaching his children to respects others' rights while they exercise their own. Just another generation coming up thinking that the only way to solve a dispute is to call in the infantry.
Today, the story rose again under the title: The First Stupid Lawsuit of '09! Supposedly, the grandma is sueing for emotional damages of the arrest and charges.
GOOD FOR HER!
Personally, I think the complaint (not to mention the complainant) was pretty stupid to begin with. There has always been crotchety old ladies (and men), but we (kids) were taught to respect them regardless, not to aggravate them. If that would've happened when I was a kid, I would've been told "Well, you shouldn't have let the ball go over there."
Yeah, accidents happen, and yeah, kids have the right to play, but little old ladies, old men, adults in general, have rights as well. Don't they? I remember quite a few folks on the block that you just knew were ornery and we stayed away. Why risk loosing a ball? Why not just go play and let them have the right to their property the way they choose?
I agree that lawsuits have gotten totally out of hand, but so have police calls. Shame on that father for not teaching his children to respects others' rights while they exercise their own. Just another generation coming up thinking that the only way to solve a dispute is to call in the infantry.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Mothers of Incarcerated Sons
October 2008 I began a free weekly writing workshop in Chicago for mothers who have or have EVER had a son in prison. I even received funding for the publication of the complete anthology titled "Mothers of Incarcerated Sons Speak~M.I.S.S."
The group meets at the Howard Area Community Center, 7648 N. Paulina, Room 2, every Thursday from 6-7:30pm.
I had several inquiries from mothers outside of Chicago who were very interested in the group, so I started MISSspeaks Yahoo group.
The group meets at the Howard Area Community Center, 7648 N. Paulina, Room 2, every Thursday from 6-7:30pm.
I had several inquiries from mothers outside of Chicago who were very interested in the group, so I started MISSspeaks Yahoo group.
Click to join MISSspeaks
Monday, April 28, 2008
blogging
i have split my blog on raving of dkchi because it was getting to be much ramblings and too much to sort through. so, i've created a blog specifically for political ravings titled: dk's political poison, and another for writings, poetry and resources located at dk's right to write.
i hope you'll visit all.
i hope you'll visit all.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Updates
it's certainly been a while since i've written anything. and it DOES seem like every time i write it is a complaint about something. my favorite place in the world is home, Rogers Park, Chicago, IL. my refuge against the craziness was violated saturday night. some one tried to break in through the bedroom window, while i was in the bed. my wakefulness startled them enough to jump from the first floor window and run down the alley, but not after lifting the screen completely and then the window partially.
Bars now grace my bedroom window and ADT receives a portion of my money. so much for the harbor against the storm.
at first, it really didn't bother me. i got up, closed & locked the window, went on the back porch to see what i could see, and went back to bed assured with the decision that the window was locked & bars would be up the next day. it wasn't until i began telling people about it and watching them freak out that i started to freak out and now, with bars on the window and ADT in my bank account, i can't sleep. imagine that!
Bars now grace my bedroom window and ADT receives a portion of my money. so much for the harbor against the storm.
at first, it really didn't bother me. i got up, closed & locked the window, went on the back porch to see what i could see, and went back to bed assured with the decision that the window was locked & bars would be up the next day. it wasn't until i began telling people about it and watching them freak out that i started to freak out and now, with bars on the window and ADT in my bank account, i can't sleep. imagine that!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Depressed-Not Homicidal or Suicidal--Until...
at the risk of upsetting quite a few people, i must voice my opinion on the latest school massacre-NIU. My prayers and thoughts are with the victims families for their loss, AND they are also with the suspects family for their loss as well. possibly, they lost him BEFORE this incident, lost in the depression or lost in the medication.
i can only speak from personal experience. that depression is not always homicidal or suicidal, but more often becomes that when medication is removed. i ask the question: what exactly is that medication doing to the brain that makes it go where it wasn't before, go where it isn't able to handle, go where it no longer wants to be? should we be attempting to treat depression with alternative treatments than drugs that alter the brain's activity?
granted, there are quite a few who take these drugs, SSRI's and are not only content, but ecstatic with the benefits. however, and it is increasingly becoming a large HOWEVER, there are many, young people mostly, who are destroyed and destroying. prozac especially has been in the news repeatedly for causing suicidal tendencies.
once again, i can only speak from personal experience. i was diagnosed with manic depression and bipolar at the age of 50--obviously having coped, maintained and functioned if not perfectly, well enough to not need drugs or hospitalization. maybe it was menopause that did me in. whatever, i found myself in darkness and having a difficult time pulling myself out of it. (see 5-7-2007 post) Hence, the prescription for lamictal and lexapro. there was definitely a difference. i slept 12-14 hrs a day, so i didn't experience any depression, i didn't experience life in general. the solution was to try different doses, different meds--to include a sleeping pill when the different dosages & meds gave me insomnia. all of which was completely unacceptable to me. at 50, i was taking 3 different DRUGS. prescription self-medicated--think Elvis, Heath Ledger, etc. i quit. gave it up.
prior to taking these meds i had researched side effects of each but had not thought of researching withdrawals. it wasn't until i experienced electrical zaps in my fingers, through my face and lips that i thought it may be a good idea to do this research. there you have it. crazy, totally abnormal, incoherent and inconsistent thoughts, feelings, and physical apparitions when stopping these drugs. you no longer want to be the prescription zombie and you then become the prescribed ????
i made it thru, of course i was only taking them for a month or so. my sympathy goes out to those who have been prescription medicating for years. so again, at the risk of upsetting some, i think we should be questioning what we are doing to the brains on these drugs. even the doctors and pharmaceutical creators don't know exactly how they work, so how do the know exactly how they DON'T work?
NIU and Virginia Tech has many, many victims and i think, it is my humble opinion, that we need to recognize all of them, question our ethics and try to prevent others.
i can only speak from personal experience. that depression is not always homicidal or suicidal, but more often becomes that when medication is removed. i ask the question: what exactly is that medication doing to the brain that makes it go where it wasn't before, go where it isn't able to handle, go where it no longer wants to be? should we be attempting to treat depression with alternative treatments than drugs that alter the brain's activity?
granted, there are quite a few who take these drugs, SSRI's and are not only content, but ecstatic with the benefits. however, and it is increasingly becoming a large HOWEVER, there are many, young people mostly, who are destroyed and destroying. prozac especially has been in the news repeatedly for causing suicidal tendencies.
once again, i can only speak from personal experience. i was diagnosed with manic depression and bipolar at the age of 50--obviously having coped, maintained and functioned if not perfectly, well enough to not need drugs or hospitalization. maybe it was menopause that did me in. whatever, i found myself in darkness and having a difficult time pulling myself out of it. (see 5-7-2007 post) Hence, the prescription for lamictal and lexapro. there was definitely a difference. i slept 12-14 hrs a day, so i didn't experience any depression, i didn't experience life in general. the solution was to try different doses, different meds--to include a sleeping pill when the different dosages & meds gave me insomnia. all of which was completely unacceptable to me. at 50, i was taking 3 different DRUGS. prescription self-medicated--think Elvis, Heath Ledger, etc. i quit. gave it up.
prior to taking these meds i had researched side effects of each but had not thought of researching withdrawals. it wasn't until i experienced electrical zaps in my fingers, through my face and lips that i thought it may be a good idea to do this research. there you have it. crazy, totally abnormal, incoherent and inconsistent thoughts, feelings, and physical apparitions when stopping these drugs. you no longer want to be the prescription zombie and you then become the prescribed ????
i made it thru, of course i was only taking them for a month or so. my sympathy goes out to those who have been prescription medicating for years. so again, at the risk of upsetting some, i think we should be questioning what we are doing to the brains on these drugs. even the doctors and pharmaceutical creators don't know exactly how they work, so how do the know exactly how they DON'T work?
NIU and Virginia Tech has many, many victims and i think, it is my humble opinion, that we need to recognize all of them, question our ethics and try to prevent others.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
what's it all about in rogers park
well, i guess this blog has turned into, or is turning into, an online diary, which is ok. that's not really what i had in mind when i started it but since i've not been disciplined enough to do a daily anything, it is what it is.
check out the winter wonderland pictures on MSNBC
i'd upload some of my own except my daughter (thirty-something) lost my digital camera.
i thought maybe i'd sign in to get a little political with the Obama and Clinton cat fight, or put up some links of poetry happenings in Chicago, or even write some of my own, but once i got here, it just didn't feel right.
i guess i have to ease back into.
check out the winter wonderland pictures on MSNBC
i'd upload some of my own except my daughter (thirty-something) lost my digital camera.
i thought maybe i'd sign in to get a little political with the Obama and Clinton cat fight, or put up some links of poetry happenings in Chicago, or even write some of my own, but once i got here, it just didn't feel right.
i guess i have to ease back into.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Winter Chills Answer to Summer Prayers
Right now, January 15, 2008 in Chicago, IL it is 25 degrees, but feels like 20. Living on the shores of Lake Michigan, it looks like a frigid hinterland outside the door.
In preparation for the new (and last) semester at college, I've been cleaning and organizing my computer files. I've never asked, but I'm hoping that I'm not the only writer who has 3 and 4 rewrites of the same piece.
During this exploratory operation, I discover a piece from the dog days of last summer that only too well typifies the schizophrenia of people. We ALWAYS want what we don't have--regardless. inspired poetry Alaska Heat
In preparation for the new (and last) semester at college, I've been cleaning and organizing my computer files. I've never asked, but I'm hoping that I'm not the only writer who has 3 and 4 rewrites of the same piece.
During this exploratory operation, I discover a piece from the dog days of last summer that only too well typifies the schizophrenia of people. We ALWAYS want what we don't have--regardless. inspired poetry Alaska Heat
Saturday, August 25, 2007
So, and so, and whatever
So
What's in a life? Moments on top of never ending moments filled with excruciating experience after glorious experience. You hurt, you cry, you marvel and wonder and jump for joy, and you hurt and cry. The electricity of a lovers lips, the totality of a baby's fingers wrapped 'round your own, the despair of failure, loneliness, the unbelievable shattering of anger, and the dream of a lovers electric lips.
There's a journey, footsteps and leaps, backward and forward and around unforeseen bends, twists and turns of illogic and plan. What is right and which is left? I am a matriarch who thirsts for solitude. I am a hermit plagued by tarantism until slaver dries in the corners of my awed mouth. I am woman, driven and crashed, crippled and propelled by thoughts, temptations, desires and society's suppose to's.
Tis no different, I believe, any where for women. Countries and men will war and kill and women will be. Cannot be just one woman in one place who travels this road to what is in a life. A life, a moment, years of just that and no less, no more, but whatever.
What's in a life? Moments on top of never ending moments filled with excruciating experience after glorious experience. You hurt, you cry, you marvel and wonder and jump for joy, and you hurt and cry. The electricity of a lovers lips, the totality of a baby's fingers wrapped 'round your own, the despair of failure, loneliness, the unbelievable shattering of anger, and the dream of a lovers electric lips.
There's a journey, footsteps and leaps, backward and forward and around unforeseen bends, twists and turns of illogic and plan. What is right and which is left? I am a matriarch who thirsts for solitude. I am a hermit plagued by tarantism until slaver dries in the corners of my awed mouth. I am woman, driven and crashed, crippled and propelled by thoughts, temptations, desires and society's suppose to's.
Tis no different, I believe, any where for women. Countries and men will war and kill and women will be. Cannot be just one woman in one place who travels this road to what is in a life. A life, a moment, years of just that and no less, no more, but whatever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)